for the ones who stayed
you’ve always known how bad it could get pages ripped out crumpled up thrown in your face you always tried to pick up those pieces but the picture never looked the same again give it time you thought this was it you loved all the same things you laughed together how long did you spend trying to figure out what you did wrong? holding the pieces in shaking hands before they crumbled away it’s a fresh start this time you never had a group— a team and now here they are leaving the door open just a crack come in, it’s okay, you won’t get hurt this time then it shatters and you do but you tried so hard to build a bridge to pick up the pieces but the edges were too sharp blood all over your hands because you tried thank you for trying thank you for peering into the door thank you because here they are the decorations on the walls match the inside of your brain there’s tea and books and fall leaves and the books aren’t just books they’re the ones that mean the most to you that got you through the blood and the pain and every shipwreck there’s pictures on the screen was that really ten years ago (were we ever that young and stupid) and here’s some from six months ago (is that what my smile looks like when it’s real?) did I really succeed this time there’s letters in cards bad handwriting— but it’s yours stupid secret messages— but I’m laughing you love me? how about that
The Context: my incredible friends threw me an early surprise birthday party last week, and it might just have healed my inner child. And yes, I completely fell for it and did not see any of it coming. Thank you to everyone who was there and everyone who wasn’t. And as always, shoutout to Poetry Orchard and for their lovely workshop today, where I wrote this.



honored to have been in the room where this happened!!!
Lovely